Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Why did I even come on a mission?

Why Did I Even Come On A Mission??

Hello my beloved friends and family! 

So yes this week was still a had its ups and downs but it was still pretty great at the same time. It was good in terms of lessons and teaching we actually got a few new investigators this week and taught a few others that we are helping to prepare for baptism! But I think the most substantial part of the week was all of the spiritual lessons that I learned. Of which I would like to share most of with you all today. 

Last week I'm not going to lie was a pretty rough week. I almost felt like was completely blindsided by everything that came my way. There was just a lot that went on, and I began to become very discouraged with doubts and uncertainties that for some time bothered me at the beginning of my mission but as time went on they faded away. However this time I felt like they came out of nowhere and that they just hit me all at once. But every concern and worry that I had this week Heavenly Fathered helped me to find helped me to find some answers I was searching for. 

For girls it is harder to decide to come on a mission because it isn't our mandate to serve as full time missionaries but we are neither discouraged to do so. Only if we feel so prompted by the Holy Ghost. I was 17 years old when I came to the conclusion that I would like to serve a mission. I prayed fervently about it and felt like I never got a yes and I never got a no. So I made a "deal" with Heavenly Father and I told him that unless I felt He was directing my path otherwise I would serve a mission for Him. And so yes 6 months into my mission i found myself asking if I even did make the right decision to serve a mission. And I've found myself contemplating this question: "Why Did I Even Come On a Mission??" 

Earlier in the week I asked my Sister Training Leaders for advice, and Sister Johnstone asked me if I had ever written a "My Purpose Statement." I asked her what she meant by that because as missionaries we have one of those already. And she explained to me that last year President had asked all the missionaries to ponder upon what they felt like their personal purpose was for being on a mission. She challenged me to do that and so I did. I pondered upon it for a few days and Prayed to know what my purpose was for being here, why I even came on a mission. And it was in a few different places where I found my answer. The first one was one of my favorite Mormon Messages called The Will of God. I it is derived from the talk by Elder Christofferson called "As Many As I Love I Rebuke And Chasten" from April 2011 Conference. In it he addresses his topic by saying this, 

"I would like to speak of one particular attitude and practice we need to adopt if we are to meet our Heavenly Father’s high expectations. It is this: willingly to accept and even seek correction." 

He continues on my telling a story that the entire Mormon Message is centered on. He says, 

"God uses another form of chastening or correction to guide us to a future we do not or cannot now envision but which He knows is the better way for us.

President Hugh B. Brown...told of purchasing a rundown farm in Canada many years ago. As he went about cleaning up and repairing his property, he came across a currant bush that had grown over six feet (1.8 m) high and was yielding no berries, so he pruned it back drastically, leaving only small stumps. Then he saw a drop like a tear on the top of each of these little stumps, as if the currant bush were crying, and thought he heard it say:


      “How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. … And now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me. … How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”


      President Brown replied, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down.’”


      Years later...President Brown was in line to be promoted to general, But even though he was fully qualified for the promotion, it was denied him because he was a Mormon... Continuing his story, President Brown remembered:

        “I got on the train and started back … with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. … When I got to my tent, … I threw my cap on the cot. I clenched my fists, and I shook them at heaven. I said, ‘How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up...How could you do this to me?’...


      “And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, ‘I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.’ The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness. …


      “… And now, almost 50 years later, I look up to [God] and say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.’”

Continuing in his talk Elder Christofferson says, 

"God knew what Hugh B. Brown was to become and what was needed for that to happen, and He redirected his course to prepare him for the holy apostleship. 

If we sincerely desire and strive to measure up to the high expectations of our Heavenly Father, He will ensure that we receive all the help we need, whether it be comforting, strengthening, or chastening. If we are open to it, needed correction will come in many forms and from many sources. It may come in the course of our prayers as God speaks to our mind and heart through the Holy Ghost (see D&C 8:2). It may come in the form of prayers that are answered no or differently than we had expected. Chastening may come as we study the scriptures and are reminded of deficiencies, disobedience, or simply matters neglected." 

Had President Brown been accepted to that promotion he may never had fully become what the Lord knew exactly he was to be, a powerful witness of the Savior and instrument in the hands of the Lord. 

And so I took that and applied it to myself. I have watched this video a thousand times. Because it is one of my favorites, but not until the other day did it hit me the way that it did this time. And so just like President Brown, I found myself this week experience some chastisement  from the Lord. And in a sense, like the answer came for him, i had similar experiences where I know the Lord was speaking to me. Immediately after watching the video i was left with these words ringing in my ear, 

" I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be."

And then almost immediately these words came to my mind, 

"Why don't you trust me?"

Like President Brown I fell to my knees to ask to be forgiven for not trusting the Lord like I should. The Lord knows what I am to become whether I see it now or not. And so he redirected my path from what I wanted it to be to what it needed to be. I have found that one purpose for my being on a mission is to come closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior. And to know them more personally of myself. To become converted to the gospel, and to stay converted. And so that I can help others do the same. Going back to the my purpose statement, as I was sitting in Sacrament Meeting yesterday I prayed again for confirmation and I randomly opened up to Alma 29: 9-10 which reads

"9 I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do not glory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy.

10 And behold, when I see many of my brethren truly penitent, and coming to the Lord their God, then is my soul filled with joy; then do I remember what the Lord has done for me, yea, even that he hath heard my prayer; yea, then do I remember his merciful arm which he extended towards me." 

And so I believe that my purpose for being on a mission is to become truly converted to The Gospel of Jesus Christ myself so that I can become everything that the Lord needs me to be and to help others to do the same through making and keeping sacred covenants. 

One more thing I've copied and pasted a talk that was given to me this week from Sister Johnstone called "Believing Christ." In it this man talks about how too often we profess our faith in Christ by saying the we believe IN Him, but we don't always truly BELIEVE Him. Too often we try to do things on our own and forget that the Savior has the power to make us what we ought to be. In short we believe in Him but we don't always trust Him. 

Sorry this email is so all over the place but I hope it makes sense and I hope it helps someone. I've learned a lot this week and I'm trying to trust the Savior more. I hope we can all trust Him more believing that He has the power to make us what we are meant to become. I know my Savior and Heavenly Father live and that they love us. And I know that this gospel is true and I love my Savior with all of my heart otherwise I would not be doing this. I'm definitely not a perfect missionary by any means at all but I am trying my best. I love you all and hope you have a great week!!
Until next week, 
~Sister Amy Elizabeth Callaway~
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Believing Christ


By Stephen E. Robinson


A Practical Approach to the Atonement


The greatest dilemma in the entire universe consists of two facts. We can read about the first in Doctrine and Covenants 1:31: “I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.” [D&C 1:31] That means he can’t stand it; he can’t blink, or look the other way, or sweep it under the rug. He can’t tolerate sin in the least degree.


The other side of the dilemma is very simply put: I sin, and so do you.


If those were the only two parts of the equation, we would have to conclude that we, as sinful beings, cannot be tolerated in the presence of God.


But that is not all there is to the equation. The Atonement of Christ is the glorious plan by which this dilemma can be resolved. I would like to share some experiences from my own family that illustrate how the Atonement works to solve this great dilemma.


First is a story about my son, Michael, who did something wrong when he was six or seven years old. He’s my only son. I want him to be better than his dad was even as a boy, and so I expect a great deal of him. So I sent him to his bedroom with the instructions, “Don’t come out until I come and get you.”


And then I forgot. Some hours later, as I was watching television, I heard his door open and tentative footsteps come down the hall. I said, “Oh, no,” and ran to the hall to see him standing there with swollen eyes and tears on his cheeks. He looked up at me--he wasn’t quite sure he should have come out--and said, “Dad, can’t we ever be friends again?” Of course, I hugged him and expressed my love for him. He’s my boy, and I love him, despite anything he may have done.


Like Michael, we all do things that disappoint our Father, that separate us from his presence and Spirit. There are times when we get “sent to our rooms” spiritually. There are sins that wound our spirits. Sometimes we do things that make us feel as if we could never get clean. When that happens, sometimes we ask the Lord, as we lift up our eyes, “O Father, can’t we ever be friends again?”


The answer that can be found in all the scriptures is a resounding “Yes, through the Atonement of Christ.” I particularly like the way it is put in Isaiah 1:18 [Isa. 1:18]:


“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”


The Lord is saying that whatever you have done, he can make you pure and worthy and innocent and celestial.


Now, to have faith in Jesus Christ is not merely to believe that he is who he says he is, or to believe in Christ. Sometimes, to have faith in Christ is also to believe Christ.


Both as a bishop and as a teacher in the Church, I have learned that there are many who believe that Jesus is the Son of God and the Savior of the world, but who do not believe that he can save them. They believe in his identity, but not in his power to cleanse and purify and save. To have faith in his identity is only half the principle. To have faith in his power to cleanse and save is the other half. We must not only believe in Christ, but we must also believe Christ when he says that he can cleanse us and make us celestial.


When I was a bishop, some members told me, “Bishop, I’ve sinned too horribly. I can’t have the full blessings of the gospel because I did this or I did that. I’ll come to church, and I’m hoping for a pretty good reward--but I couldn’t receive the full blessings of exaltation in the celestial kingdom after what I’ve done.”


Other members said, “Bishop, I’m just an average Saint. I’m weak and imperfect, and I don’t have all the talents that Brother (or Sister) So-and-So has. I’ll never be in the bishopric, or I’ll never be the Relief Society president. I’m just average. I hope for a place a little further down.”


These statements are variations of the same theme: “I do not believe Christ can do what he claims. I have no faith in his ability to exalt me.”


One fellow said to me, “Bishop, I’m just not celestial material.” Well, I’d had enough, so I said back to him, “Why don’t you admit your real problem? You’re not celestial material? Welcome to the club. None of us is! By ourselves, none of us is perfect as we must be to live in the presence of God. Why don’t you just admit that you don’t have faith in the ability of Christ to do what he says he can do?”


He got angry. “I have a testimony of Jesus,” he said. “I believe in Christ.”


I responded, “Yes, you believe in Christ. But you do not believe Christ when he says that even though you are not celestial material, he can make you celestial material, if you’ll cooperate.”


Why He Is Called the Savior


Sometimes the weight of the demand for perfection makes us despair. Sometimes we fail to believe that most choice truth of the gospel that the Lord can change us and bring us into his kingdom. Let me share an experience that happened about ten years ago.


My wife, Janet, and I were living in Pennsylvania. Things were going pretty well. I had been promoted, and it was a good year for us as a family. But it was a trying year for Janet personally. That year she had our fourth child, graduated from college, passed the exam to become a certified public accountant, and was called to be the ward Relief Society president. We had temple recommends, and we held family home evening. I was serving in the bishopric.


Then one night, something happened to my wife that I can describe only as “dying spiritually.” She wouldn’t talk about it or tell me what was wrong. For me, that was the worst part. For a couple of weeks she did not wish to participate in spiritual things, and she asked to be released from her callings.


Finally, after about two weeks, it came out. She said, “All right. You want to know what’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t get up at 5:30 in the morning and bake bread and sew clothes and help my kids with their homework and do my own homework and do my Relief Society work and get my genealogy done and go to the parent-teacher meetings at school and write to the missionaries.” And she named off one burden after another that had been laid on her.


Then she listed her flaws and imperfections. She said, “I don’t have the talent that Sister Morrell has. I can’t do what Sister Childs does. I try not to yell at the kids, but I lose control and yell at them anyway. I’ve just finally admitted that I’m not perfect and that I’m not ever going to be perfect. I’m not going to make it to the celestial kingdom, and I can’t pretend that I am. So I’ve given up. Why break my back trying to do what I can’t?”


Well, we started to talk, and it was a long night. I asked her, “Janet, do you have a testimony?”


She said, “Of course I do! That’s what’s so terrible. I know it’s true. I just can’t do it.”


“Have you kept the covenants you made when you were baptized?”


She said, “I’ve tried and I’ve tried, but I cannot keep all the commandments all the time.”


Then I rejoiced because I knew that her problem wasn’t any of those horrible things I had thought it might be. It is possible to be an active member of the Church, to have a testimony of its truthfulness, to hold leadership positions--and still to lose track of the “good news” at the gospel’s core. This is what had happened to Janet. She was trying to save herself. She knew why Jesus is an adviser and a teacher. She knew why he is an example, the head of the Church, our Elder Brother, and even God. She knew all of that, but she did not understand why he is called the Savior.


Janet was tying to save herself, with Jesus as an adviser. But we can’t do that. No one is perfect. In Ether 3:2 we read about one of the greatest prophets who ever lived, the brother of Jared. His faith was so great that he was about to pierce the veil and see the spirit body of Christ. Yet, as he began to pray, he said:


“Now behold, O Lord, and do not be angry with thy servant because of his weakness before thee [notice that he starts his prayer with an apology as an imperfect being for approaching a perfect God]; for we know that thou art holy and dwellest in the heavens, and that we are unworthy before thee; because of the fall our natures have become evil continually; nevertheless, O Lord, thou hast given us a commandment that we must call upon thee, that from thee we may receive according to our desires.”


Of course we fail at the celestial level. That’s why we need a savior and why we are commanded to approach God and to call upon him so we may receive according to our desires. The Savior said, “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled” (Matt. 5:6). We misinterpret this scripture frequently. We think it says, “Blessed are the righteous,” but it does not. When are you hungry? When are you thirsty? When you don’t have the object of your desire. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after the righteousness that God has, after the righteousness of the celestial kingdom. As that becomes the desire of their hearts, it will be given to them--they will be filled. We receive “according to our desires.”


Becoming One


In mortality, perfection comes to us only through the Atonement of Christ. We cannot achieve it ourselves. We must become one with the Lord, who is a perfect being. This is what the business world would call a merger. When a small, bankrupt firm that’s about ready to collapse merges with a strong corporation, what happens? Assets and liabilities of the two companies flow together, and the new entity that is created is solvent.


When Janet and I got married, I was financially pressed, and Janet had money in the bank. When we entered into the covenant relationship of marriage, we formed a joint account at the bank. No longer was there an “I,” and no longer a “she”--now, financially speaking, it was “we.” My liabilities and her assets flowed into each other in this joint account, and for the first time in months I was solvent.


Spiritually, this is what happens when we enter into the covenant relationship with our Savior. We have liabilities; he has assets. He proposes to us a covenant relationship. I use the word propose on purpose because it is a marriage of a spiritual sort that is being proposed. That is why he is called the Bridegroom. This covenant relationship is so intimate that it is described in scriptures as a marriage. I become one with Christ, and as partners we work together for my salvation. My liabilities and his assets flow into each other. I do all that I can do, and he does what I cannot yet do. The two of us together are perfect.


This is why the Savior says, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28). What heavier load is there than the demand for perfection, the idea that you must make yourself perfect in this life before you can have any hope in the next? What heavier burden is there than the yoke of the law?


“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me,” said the Savior; “for I am meek and lowly of heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.


“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:29–30).


“Trust Me”


The prophet Nephi was one of the great prophets, yet he had a sense of his need for and his reliance upon the Savior. He says, “O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.


“I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.


“And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins” (2 Ne. 4:17–19).


Did Nephi have an appreciation for his mortal condition, for his need of the Savior to save him from his sins? Yes, and the key is what comes next: “Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted” (2 Ne. 4:19).


Nephi realized that he was imperfect. His sins bothered him. He was not celestial yet. But he knew in whom he trusted. Nephi trusted in the power of Jesus Christ to cleanse him of his sins and to bring him into the kingdom of God.


I had a friend who used to say quite frequently, “I figure my life is half over, and I’m halfway to the celestial kingdom, so I’m right on schedule.”


One day I asked her, “Judy, what happens if you die tomorrow?” It was the first time that thought had ever occurred to her.


“Let’s see,” she said, “halfway to the celestial kingdom is … mid-terrestrial. That’s not good enough.”


We need to know that in this covenant relationship we have with the Savior, if we should die tomorrow we have hope of the celestial kingdom. That hope is one of the promised blessings of the covenant relationship. Yet many of us do not understand it or take advantage of it.


When our twin daughters were small, we decided to take them to the public pool and teach them how to swim. I remember starting with Rebekah. As I went down into the water with her, I was thinking, “I’m going to teach Becky how to swim.” But in her mind was the thought, “My dad is going to drown me. I’m going to die!” The water was only three-and-a-half feet deep, but Becky was only three feet tall. She was so frightened that she began to scream and cry and kick and scratch. She was unteachable.


Finally, I threw my arms around her and held her and said, “Becky, I’ve got you. I’m your dad. I love you. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you. Now relax.” Bless her heart, she trusted me. She relaxed, and then I put my arms under her and said, “Okay, now kick your legs.” And she began to learn how to swim.


Spiritually there are some of us who are similarly frightened by these questions. “Am I celestial? Am I going to make it? Was I good enough today?” We’re so terrified of whether we’re going to live or die, or whether we’ve made it to the kingdom or not, that we cannot make any progress. At those times, the Savior, in a sense, throws his arms around us and says, “I’ve got you. I love you. I’m not going to let you die. Now relax and trust me.” If we can relax and trust him and believe him, as well as believe in him, then together we can begin to learn to live the gospel. Then he says, “Okay, now begin to pay tithing. Very good. Now pay a full tithing.” And so we begin to make progress.


In Alma 34:14–16, we read:


“Behold, this is the whole meaning of the law, every whit pointing to that great and last sacrifice; and that great and last sacrifice will be the Son of God, yea, infinite and eternal.


“And thus he shall bring salvation to all those who shall believe on his name; this being the intent of this last sacrifice, to bring about the bowels of mercy, which overpowereth justice, and bringeth about means unto men that they may have faith unto repentance.


“And thus mercy can satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles them in the arms of safety.”


The arms of safety--that is my favorite phrase in the Book of Mormon.


Do Latter-day Saints believe in “being saved”? If I ask my religion students that question with the right tone of voice--“Do we believe in being saved?”--I can generally get about a third of them to shake their heads and say, “Oh, no, no. Those other religions believe in that.” What a tragedy! We most certainly do believe in being saved. That’s why Jesus is called the Savior. What good is it to have a Savior if no one is saved? It’s like having a lifeguard who won’t get out of the chair. “Oops, there goes another swimmer down. Hey, try the backstroke! Oh, too bad he didn’t make it.” We have a Savior who can save us from ourselves, from what we lack, from our imperfections, from the carnal individual within us.


In Joseph Smith’s vision of the celestial kingdom, he describes those who are there in these terms:


“These are they whose names are written in heaven, where God and Christ are the judge of all.


“These are they who are just men made perfect through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant” (D&C 76:68–69).


Just men and women, good men and women, those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, are made perfect through Jesus Christ, the mediator of the new covenant.


Give Him All That We Have


As my wife and I talked about her feeling of inadequacy and her feeling that she couldn’t make it, I recalled something that had happened in our family just a couple of months earlier. We call it the parable of the bicycle.


After I had come home one day, I was sitting in a chair reading the newspaper. My daughter Sarah, who was seven years old, came in and said, “Dad, can I have a bike? I’m the only kid on the block who doesn’t have a bike.”


Well, I didn’t think I could afford to buy her a bike, so I tried to stall her by saying, “Sure, Sarah.”


She asked, “How? When?”


I said, “You save all your pennies, and pretty soon you’ll have enough for a bike.” And she went away.


A couple of weeks later as I was sitting in the same chair, I was aware that Sarah was doing something for her mother and getting paid. She went into the other room, and I heard “Clink, clink.” I asked, “Sarah, what are you doing?”


She came out and showed me a little jar all cleaned up with a slit cut in the lid and a bunch of pennies in the bottom. She looked at me and said, “You promised me that if I saved all my pennies, pretty soon I’d have enough for a bike. And, Daddy, I’ve saved every single one of them.”


My heart was filled with love for her. She was doing everything in her power to follow my instructions. I hadn’t actually lied to her. If she saved all of her pennies, she eventually would have enough for a bike, but by then she would want a car! Her needs weren’t being met. So I said, “Let’s go downtown and look at bikes.”


We went to every store in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Finally we found it--the perfect bicycle. She got up on that bike, and she was thrilled. But when she saw how much the bicycle cost, her face fell, and she started to cry. She said, “Oh, Dad, I’ll never have enough for a bicycle.”


So I said, “Sarah, how much do you have?”


She answered, “Sixty-one cents.”


“I’ll tell you what,” I said. “You give me everything you’ve got and a hug and a kiss, and the bike is yours.” She gave me a hug, a kiss--and the sixty-one cents. I paid for the bicycle. Then I had to drive home very slowly because she wouldn’t get off the bike; she rode home on the sidewalk. And as I drove along slowly beside her, it occurred to me that this was a parable for the Atonement of Christ.


We all want something desperately--something far more than a bicycle. We want the celestial kingdom. We want to be with our Father in Heaven. And no matter how hard we try, we come up short. At some point we realize, “I can’t do this!” That was the point my wife, Janet, had reached. At that point, we taste the sweetness of the gospel covenant as the Savior proposes, “All right, you’re not perfect. Give me all you have, and I’ll pay the rest. Give me a hug and a kiss--that is, enter into a personal relationship with me--and I will do what remains undone.”


There is good news and bad news. The bad news is that he still requires our best effort. We must try, we must work--we must do all that we can. But the good news is that, having done all we can, it is enough--for now. Together we’ll make progress in the eternities, and eventually we will become perfect. But in the meantime, we are perfect only in a partnership, in a covenant relationship with him. Only by tapping his perfection can we hope to qualify.


As Janet and I discussed how it worked, she finally understood. I remember her saying through her tears, “I’ve always believed he is the Son of God. I have always believed that he suffered and died for me. But now I realize that he can save me from myself, from my sins, from my weakness, inadequacy, and lack of talent.”


How many of us forget the words of Nephi: “There is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah” (2 Ne. 2:8).


There is no other way. Many of us are trying to save ourselves, holding the Atonement of Jesus Christ at arm’s distance and saying, “When I’ve done it, when I’ve perfected myself, when I’ve made myself worthy--then I’ll be worthy of the Atonement. Then I will allow him in.” We cannot do it. That’s like saying, “When I am well, I’ll take the medicine. I’ll be worthy of it then.” That’s not how it was designed to work.


One of my favorite hymns says, “Oh, dearly, dearly has he loved! And we must love him too, And trust in his redeeming blood, And try his works to do” (“There Is a Green Hill Far Away,” Hymns, 1985, no. 194). I think one of the reasons I love that hymn so much is that it expresses both sides of that covenant relationship. We must “try his works to do” with all that is in us. We must do all that we can, and having done all, then we must “trust in his redeeming blood” and in his ability to do for us what we cannot yet do.


Elder Bruce R. McConkie used to call this being in the gospel harness. When we are in the gospel harness, we are pulling for the kingdom with our eyes on that goal. Although we are not yet there, we can have confidence that just as that is our goal in life, so it will be our goal in eternity. Through the Atonement of Christ we can have hope of achieving and an expectation of receiving that goal.



Jesus Christ is the Son of God and the Savior of the world. He is our individual Savior, if only we will enter into that glorious covenant relationship with him and give him all we have. Whether it be sixty-one cents, or a dollar and a half, or two cents, we must hold nothing back; we must give it all. And then we must have faith and trust in his ability to do for us what we cannot yet accomplish, to make up what we yet lack of perfection. This is the yoke that is easy and the burden that is light.

Hello everyone!

Hello everyone!

Well happy birthday to Josh this week also! I hope you had an awesome
day old man😉 haha.

Okay so this week was hard. I'm not going to lie. There was a lot of
stuff that went down that will take too long to tell so I apologize in
advance for the shortness of this weeks email, but I don't really have
the time to right a novel today!

Well we got transfer calls this week and Sister Jolley and I are both
staying! But the weird thing is that this last week two Elders just
randomly showed up to our apartment with a mattress....like what the
heck?? Usually when they do that it means that you're going to be in a
trio. But we have received no such calls from president.

Well we didn't teach many lessons this week. But we had some fun
experiences. First of all we got to spend a little bit of time with
one of my favorite families in our Ward. Their names are the Bernard
family and I just love them to death. They have four of the most well
behaved beautiful little children you've ever seen. And they just
recently had their fourth baby. So we dropped off some cookies for
them to congratulate them on their newest member of the family. And
then later as we were walking down the street they invited us in to
spend a few minutes with them during their family home evening and to
read the scriptures with them. They are just the sweetest family. And
it is so easy to feel the spirit in their home. I just love them
because they are such a wonderful example of living the gospel. And if
anyone really knows me then you know that I just love babies! Even
though I couldn't hold their brand new baby girl at least we got to
see her. And it's amazing the spirit that a brand new baby brings into
a home.

Then later in the week we had another Zone goal of talking to 10
people a day and inviting them all to do something. But here is one
thing that I have come to learn about Medford...a lot of people are
very closed off the the missionaries. People know who we are and they
intentionally avoid us. Or mock us and make fun of us, or just being
flat out mean to us. Suffice it to say I've learned a lot this week
about persecution. Just one example, so we were just walking down main
st in Medford and we were walking past this brand new restaurant that
everyone loves call the Pop Shop. Well as we are walking past I see a
man and his little son sitting on a bench. As we draw closer I smiled
and said hello to the man and asked him how his day was going. He
looked up at me with this look of scorn and said "it was going great
until just now." Oooh I can't even describe to you how I felt at that
moment. Amy, wanted to smear his ice cream all over his face for being
so rude...but Sister Callaway knew better. And I knew what the Savior
would do in that moment so I just took it. I invited him to do
something and he just said "move along, you're wasting my time." I
smile and said "have a great day sir." And walked away. I didn't
understand why he had to be so rude but at least I invited him to
learn about the Restored Gospel and even though he said know at least
I fulfilled my purpose as a missionary. Oh and also a member told us
this the other day when we were having dinner with them that
apparently there is a Medford Township Facebook page and she told us
that recently she had seen someone post something on there that said
"The Mormon Missionaries are coming! Everybody get inside and hide!"
My first thought was "well at least we are known around here!" But
then it just made me sad because the harsh reality is that so many
peoples hearts are so hardened here. But that's okay because we are
still finding people! Holding appointments is another thing but
finding people we are doing that!

We also got bible bashed again this week. And yet again this man was
attacking The Book of Mormon. When the day after we had district
meeting and it was on receiving revelation through The Book of Mormon.
As we discussed it I realized that through reading the bible know and
understand what the savior did for us but that through also reading
The Book of Mormon we know and understand why he did it for us. And
specifically how it pertains to us individually and how it changes us.
And how we are saved through the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ.
I know can honestly say that I know without a doubt that The Book of
Mormon is true. And that because of it I have come to know my Heavenly
Father and Jesus Christ personally. Which relationship I am so
grateful for and don't know what I would do without. It is my solemn
testimony that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in reality live as
glorified and perfect login beings.

Sorry this one is so short this week but I love you all and will talk
to you next week!
Xoxo

~Sister Amy Callaway~





Hello my beloved family and friends!!

Hello my beloved family and friends!! 

Well first of all I am so happy for Britt and Erik!! Just so you know I totally just went and got a 711 slurpee to cope with my sadness of not being there at your sealing. But all was well :) we had a great day Saturday and your being sealed just made me want to work that much harder. 
And also HAPPY DAY OF BIRTH TO TAYLOR AND COLE YESTERDAY!! I was sitting there during church yesterday thinking about how 10 years ago I remember sitting in the hospital room holding them right after they were born. And how I can't believe you are 10 already!! I love you both and I hope you had a great day! :) and Happy Birthday to Stephanie this week!! I love you sister!! And I will send you something soon, but you can't know what it is because it is a surprise :) 

Well this week was pretty interesting. First of all on Wednesday was when we got our mini-missionary!! She arrived at about 9pm on Wednesday and when I say we got a mini-missionary I mean she was actually mini, like she was smaller than me! Haha like barely though. Anyway her names is Sister Menezes. And she is from Manause, (i think that's how you spell it?) Brazil! Her family moved to philly though when she was a baby. She spent a few days with us to see what missionary life was like, and oh man did we have some interesting experiences while she was with us haha. 

First of all we had district meeting the day after she got here and District Meeting was amazing! We talked about receiving personal revelation through prayer and it was nothing short of amazing! I learned so much and definitely have a testimony of the power of prayer. I honestly do not know how I would survive without prayer. Nor would I ever want to. I am just so grateful for the sacred form of communication that we each can have personally and individually with our Heavenly Father each and every day. I was reading In the Missionary Handbook and it was talking about prayer and I realized that our prayers often show and demonstrate how close we are with our Heavenly Father. I know that the power of prayer is real because I have seen many many answered prayers on my mission :) I just love prayer :)

After District Meeting we had the opportunity to have lunch with the Stake President, President Sikahema and his wife, cousin and aunt. As we ate lunch with them President Sikahema talked about how he and his aunt served in the same mission. Many years apart but he talked about how he remembered that when he came to his mission everywhere he went he heard about his aunt and the good that she did for the people that she served. People loved her and revered her  for the missionary that she was. He started to tear up as he admonished each of us to live and serve our missions and throughout our lives and to leave a legacy behind, and more importantly to leave a legacy that others would like to follow. When he finished he asked his aunt to talk about what her mission meant to her. She started to cry just thinking about it and the first thing she said about her mission was this, "the greatest thing that I remember when I think about my mission is my love for the people that I served." She then went on to talk about how there was a time on her mission when she was in a trio and how both her companions were "hard to deal with" she said. She spoke of writing to her mother about it and when her mother wrote back she simply told her this, "don't complain about your companions problems. Instead try to serve them in whatever way you can. Love them as the Savior would Himself if He were there." She said that that hit her pretty hard and got her thinking. And then she told us something else that her mother wrote to her in her native language of Tongan, she said

"The amount of service you render to others, is in direct proportion to how much Christlike love you feel." 

I love that. So much so that I wrote it down and stuck it on my wall of quotes and pictures right by my desk. And I thought long and hard about that. We are always constantly learning, studying and applying the Christlike Attributes. One of which is Charity. And I love Charity. That's why my favorite Scripture in Moroni 7:47-48 talks about Charity...

"47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen."

I love how this scripture talks about charity. 

What is Charity?-It "is the pure love of Christ," 

How can we attain it?-By "pray[ing] unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that [we] may be filled with this love," 

What is the result of having Charity?- "that when he shall appear we shall be like him...that we may be purified even as he is pure." 

Because Charity is the pure love of Christ it motivates us to serve others as the Savior Himself would. Now I'm relating it back to the quote by President Sikahema's Aunt, I realized that in how much we serve others the pure love of Christ truly is manifest. Jesus Christ is the perfect example of Charity because he loved others all His life and He served them. And sometimes it is hard for us mortals to do that. But the more we try to attain those Christlike Attributes, like Charity for example, the more we are becoming like the Savior. So let me rephrase that quote to how I understood it...

"The amount of service you render to others, in direct proportion to how much [you are like the Savior]." 

As missionaries and as members of the church we are truly representatives of Jesus Christ. And as true followers of Him we must keep all of His commandments and try our hardest to be like Him if we are to truly represent Him. 

This also reminds me of an experience we had after District Meeting on Thursday. We went to go and try to visit a less active who we had not been able to get a hold of for a while. And when we finished talking to her we started walking back to our car. And this random creepy guy in a a mini van starts slowly following us down the road as we are walking to our car. (Mind you we also have our mini-missionary with us at this point and it is only her first day) this man parks on the other side of the street and rolls down his window and inquires as to who we are. Standing as far away from him as we could we yelled across the way that we were missionaries for our Church. He asked what church and we replied loudly "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints." He asked if that was Mormon and we said yes. 

He then started to tell us about how he was so worried about us sweet, young, innocent and sincere girls, because we are being deceived. Right then I knew what this guys intention was and I immediately thought to myself "oh brother" he then went on to tell us everything false he had ever heard about The Book of Mormon, and said a lot of other negative things about the Church. 

I had no intention of engaging in any kind of conversation with this guy but when someone has the nerve to come up to me and try to tell me that everything I believe is wrong, I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut...which isn't a good thing sometimes haha anyway this guy just would not stop. I knew that there was no use and no point in trying to "prove" anything to him because his heart was already hardened against the truth. And he was already bagging on everything that is true so obviously the spirit wasn't going to be there. And he was just reciting off the safe verses from the bible and saying the same things that I recognized from every other bible basher I've come across. 

Anyway, as he was doing this I wanted to do something just to stop him from talking and so I pulled out a pass along card and walked right up to him and invited him to church! (Side note: this week our goal for our Zone was to invite 10 people to church everyday) and so not only did he help us to fulfill our goal for the day but it also completely threw him off haha. I said to him "sir, I don't know where you are getting your information from but whatever it is, you're looking to the wrong source. And the best place to actually learn about the fullness of the Everlasting true gospel is at church. It starts at 10 AM on Sunday and we would love to see you there." He told me that he was a preacher from another church, and he continued to bash on everything that I hold dear and sacred. Specifically he tried to tell us that we were wrong for trying to "earn [our] way to heaven by doing good works." And that was the biggest thing he couldn't get over. He asked me if I knew if I was going to Heaven, and I said "I know that as long as I keep the commandments and I keep my covenants that I have made with God then yes I will be going to Heaven." He went on and on about so many other things but before it could get out of hand I again did the only thing you can do in that situation....

"19 And this he did that he himself might go forth among his people, or among the people of Nephi, that he might preach the word of God unto them, to stir them up in remembrance of their duty, and that he might pull down, by the word of God, all the pride and craftiness and all the contentions which were among his people, seeing no way that he might reclaim them save it were in bearing down in pure testimony against them."(Alma 4:19) 

So I simply bore my testimony, of the only true and living gospel and of my Savior Jesus Christ and His Atonement and of saving ordinances that allow us to return to our Fathers presence. And so did our mini-missionary! And with that we turned around and left. We didn't confound him, we didn't stump him nor did we try to but we did bear witness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in the best way that three teenaged girls could do in that moment. 

But the next day as I studied I was reading from The Book of Mormon and the Bible and the spirit confirmed to me again that this the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the only entirely true church on this earth. And I remembered some of the things that man said about us trying to "earn our way to heaven" by doing good works. To that man he said it doesn't matter what you do as long as you accept Jesus Christ you are saved." And I thought "oh no, this man doesn't understand the Atonement of Jesus Christ." 

And with that a line from one of my favorite talks came to my mind. It is a talk by Brother Brad Wilcox called "His Grace is Sufficient" and in it he spoke of his Christian friends who believe that we Mormons are trying to "earn our way to heaven" by trying to be and do good. To which he said this: 

"No, we are not earning Heaven. We are learning Heaven. We are preparing for it." 

Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we are saved that is the absolute truth. But we still have a part to do. This life is not a competition to see who can try and be and do the most good, this life is a conversion process so that we can progress and try to become more like our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. As we keep the commandments that God himself has given us, and through making and keeping sacred covenants and promises we become sanctified or in other words we begin to change and we begin to be more holy like Our Savior. In other words we are preparing to live in Heaven with them. 

We are commanded to be perfect. "48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matt 5:48) But we can't be. We are imperfect, we sin, and mess up. And because of our sins we become unclean. And it is our sins that keep us away from Heavenly Father but the whole purpose of this life is to enable us to live with them again...."19 And no unclean thing can enter into his kingdom; therefore nothing entereth into his rest save it be those who have washed their garments in my blood, because of their faith, and the repentance of all their sins, and their faithfulness unto the end."....but just like the rest of this scripture states as long as we accept and apply his atonement, repent, keep his commandments, and continue in faithfulness or endure to the end then we will live with God in His presence again. 

Brother Wilcox said in his talk, "scriptures make is clear that 'no unclean thing can dwell with God.' But Brothers and Sister, no unchanged thing will even want to." 

If we are to live with them we must live like them. The Lord loves us. He wants us to return to live with Him again. And He wants us to enjoy all of the blessings that He does. That's why He requires so much of us. Because the commandments and covenants we make are to make us better than we now are. My testimony has grown so much of the Atonement and of the saving ordinances of the gospel and I know that they are meant to protect us and help us to become more like our Savior. One more quote from Joseph Smith he said, 

"The Prophet Joseph Smith said he was frequently asked the question:
“Can we not be saved without going through with all those ordinances, etc.?” I would answer, No, not the fullness of salvation. Jesus said, “There are many mansions in my Father’s house, and I will go and prepare a place for you.” House here named should have been translated kingdom; and any person who is exalted to the highest mansion has to abide a celestial law, and the whole law too. (History of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, ed. B. H. Roberts, 7 vols. [Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1949], 6:184.)" 

 The Lord has asked us to do certain things that without we would not otherwise be able to return to live in His presence for eternity. That is why we make covenants and promises because we love the lord enough to do ALL that he asks of us, and I can testify that these things are true of myself, and I KNOW them independent of any other person. Ah I have so much to say and so little time! 

I pray each and everyday that we will all be able to strive to keep the covenants that we have made and honor them in all we do. I love you all so very much! Remember to say daily family prayer and have scripture study :) 
Love you all!!

~Sister Amy Callaway~